


but why would you care?

by beware_of_you



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Erin Strauss has no rights, F/F, Garcia is the best, Gideon has no rights, Hotch is v protective of his team, JJ is v protective of Reid, Reid is a sweetheart, and can see right past Emily's bullshit, honestly wrote this in like four hours, is there gay? kinda, protect him, so is Morgan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24999196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: yes the title of this story is a knuckle puck song. no i have no shame.based loosely on a prompt suggested by @ Felicia (I hope I did it justice!!)Story in which Emily quits the team like in the season 3 episode "In Name and Blood" but instead of Hotch coming to get her before the case, JJ confronts her after she hasn't shown up to work. There's angst because that's what I do.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Kinda - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> uh the only fact this is broken up into multiple parts is because I don't do transitions well or it ends up looking wonky on mobile and/or desktop

Emily carefully takes down another frame from the wall, fingers touching the edge of the wall instead of the reflective glass. It's a certificate, something to commemorate one of her accomplishments or another, but she can't find it in her to check which one this particular picture frame holds. She slides it carefully in a styrofoam folder, smoothing out all the wrinkles and tucking in the excess before she carefully sets it down in the box that holds other certificates, plaques and awards just like it.

She sighs, grabbing the glass of red wine stacked on top of a stack of boxes she had already packed and sealed. She hates moving, hates how tedious and time consuming of a process it is. Especially when she had _just_ finished moving into this rather beautiful, spacious apartment (honestly, the thing is bigger than some pent houses she's lived in over the years, much cleaner and more welcoming).

She's really going to miss this place. It has a certain charm to it. Modern design with sleek features like the white stainless steel cabinets in the kitchen, the gray-blue paint, the red mahogany hardwood floors, and geometric elements such as the diamond beams going up the stair case and square mirrors hanging up sporadically.

She likes the view from the massive window in the living room, how she can peer out her window and see the busy city she's come to love. Some days, she'll just sit on the cushion covered wooden bench installed just below the window and stare out in amazement at the sunset, the sunrise, if she wakes up in time for it.

She adores how the Washington Monument looks at night, bright white and towering over every other building surrounding it. Her inner goth particularly gets a kick of how _eerie_ the monument looks on foggy nights because the red lights at the top look so intimidating against the cloudy, gray sky.

This apartment is definitely one of the best places she's lived in the past few years, some place she was proud to call her home. It makes her chest clench slightly if she thinks on it too much, how she has to leave it all behind. She wants to spend her last few days here just _enjoying_ it.

She shakes her head as if to clear those negative thoughts, throwing back a generous portion of the wine her glass. She's beginning to regret packing sober and wants to at least attempt to enjoy doing this. Bourbon Drunk Emily might be moody, emo, and down right depressing, but _Wine Drunk Emily_ was fun and chaotic. She laughs over stupid things and makes the worst inappropriate jokes. She _loves_ Wine Drunk Emily.

She startles at the sound of a knock coming from the door, the red liquid in her glass sloshing around _dangerously_ close to the lip when she jumps. She turns towards the front door, shooting it a brief glare as if it was personally at fault for her almost dropping her glass. She runs her free hand through her hair, taking another sip of wine as she walks over to the door. Cautiously, she peers through the peep hole.

Golden blonde hair, bright blue eyes, still dressed in a white blazer and black slacks that she had no doubt worn at the office which she no doubt just came from (because, really, who else stays at work so late besides Hotch?) Her slender hand reaches up to rapt at the older woman's door again, determined look on her face.

Quickly, Emily unlocks her door, unhooks the chain near the top and swings the door open in surprise. "JJ?"

JJ starts slightly, shoulders tensing at the sudden movements and noise. The look is gone almost immediately, replaced with a soft, hesitant smile. "Hey. Sorry, I just..." She pauses, runs a hand through her long hair with a slight grimace. "Hi," she finally says lamely.

"Hey," Emily breathes out in surprise, a confused frown forming on her face. "Is everything okay? Is something wrong?"

JJ shoots her a look, raising an eyebrow slightly as if to say _is there?_ and suddenly Emily feels... well, a lot of things really: confused, nervous, suspicion, wary. She honestly can't put a specific name for what she feels. But nothing is really _good_ about having Jennifer Jareau show up at her apartment out of the blue at 10PM.

JJ wraps an arm around her chest, rubbing at her opposite arm slowly. "Can I come in?"

Clearing her throat softly, Emily nods silently and steps to the side, allowing the slightly smaller woman to enter the apartment.

JJ steps inside, looking around the space while rubbing her arm. She purses her lips slightly, frown on her face deepening when she spots the boxes that are packed or in the process of strewn around the brunette's apartment.

"Would you care for some wine?" Emily offers politely, shutting the door securely. "I have white if you'd prefer."

"No, thank you," JJ murmurs softly, slowly moving her hand down her arm and clasping her hands together tightly. She turns to the large window, staring at the city as she squeezes her hands together firmly.

There's a long, heavy and awkward silence that falls between them. Emily downs the remainder of her glass, staring at the small droplet down at the bottom of the glass as she tries to analyze the situation. "So, why are you—"

"You haven't been to work all week," JJ states finally, interrupting the older woman mid sentence. She turns towards Emily, only breaking eye contact to look at all the boxes once more. "And either the level of organization you have at the office is a facade, you're becoming a minimalist, or you're leaving."

Emily's mouth drops open briefly before she clenches her jaw. She reaches for the bottle of wine on the counter, refilling her glass steadily. "Did Hotch or Morgan send you to check up on me?" she asks evenly, trying her best to keep suspicion from lacing her tone.

JJ folds her arms back over her chest, shrugging. "I sent myself. I was worried about you. Someone on our team got shot in her own apartment and the other disappeared to god knows where. I think I'm justified to worry if someone who hasn't missed a day since she started suddenly stopped showing up."

Emily nods slowly. Okay, that was completely fair.

"So?"

Emily swallows a sip of wine. "So what?"

"Are you? Leaving?" JJ elaborates, using her palm to gesture around all the boxes.

Emily's mouth goes dry at this question. She presses her lips into a thin line, dropping her eyes from JJ's. She takes another drink from her glass. "Guess I am," she mumbles into the wine.

"Why?"

She shrugs, slowly rotating her wrist to create a small vortex in the thin red liquid. It's more interesting to look at, doesn't ask questions. "I guess the BAU isn't where I'm meant to be," she says slowly.

JJ places a hand on her hip, grimace disbelieving as she looks at the brunette. "Really?"

"Yep."

"Because I have a hard time believing that this is coming from the same woman that came to Hotch's office for three days straight to beg for a chance to prove herself worthy of joining the team," JJ says.

"I didn't beg," Emily mumbles stubbornly, slightly embarrassed at the memory.

JJ waves her hands in the air dismissively. "Whatever. The point is that you were so passionate about joining the team and now suddenly you're just, what, dropping everything and disappearing off in the night like you're not vital to the team or important to us?"

"It's different than I thought it was," Emily defends lamely. "Besides, I already turned in my credentials and my gun," she adds firmly, bringing an arm protectively over her chest.

"Hotch already told us about you turning in your credentials."

Emily sighs, rubbing at the bridge of her nose with her freehand. "So, why are you really here, JJ? Hotch already told you I'm not a part of this team."

JJ squeezes her own shoulders tightly, puffing out a frustrated breath. "Because I thought you wouldn't just give up on the team. I thought you were better than that."

Emily takes a drink from her glass. She's starting to wish she had cracked out the bourbon instead. Wine Drunk Emily has no idea how to deal with confrontations like this, doesn't have a harsh bone in her body. Good thing she's not entirely there yet, she thinks.

"No offense, Jennifer, but you don't know me at all," she says stiffly.

JJ winces slightly at the blow. "I would have liked to gotten to know you better," she replies in a small voice. She quickly clears her throat and shakes her head, dropping her eyes from Emily's face. "I'm not a profiler, but I'm not stupid, Emily. I know that you wouldn't have just quit "because it's different than I thought". If you're going to lie to me, at least try better."

Emily's jaw clenches again before she quickly downs the rest of her glass. Her head spins slightly at the action, but her mind remains completely focused.

JJ's gaze softens, her shoulders slumping. "You can talk to me, you know? Make me understand why you're doing this? Because I came over here tonight for answers, but all I have is a billion more questions and nothing makes any more sense than it did then."

Emily bites her lip, setting her wine glass down. She corks the bottle, setting it back on the counter before reaching for a bottle of whiskey, pouring it in a small glass. She sips at it, trying to stay mad, trying to be harsh and hostile towards the other woman but _really_ can't find it in herself to do it. She grimaces, sighing long and hard before leaning on her palms on the countertop.

"Strauss wanted me in the BAU as a mole," she finally confesses. "Of sorts, I guess," she elaborates with a frown, staring down at the marbling in the granite. "She wanted me to find dirt on Hotch, find an explanation why he had one of his agents go rogue and why Gideon suddenly went MIA."

JJ looks at the painting hanging up next to the large window. "I know that, too."

Emily's features flash in anger, in frustration. "What the hell do you want from me then, JJ? Because every time I tell you something, you miraculously already know it, so please, tell me what the hell you really want! Why does it matter to you if I quit anyway? Morgan hated me, Hotch and Reid didn't trust me and Gideon thought from day one I was a lousy agent. Why do you _care_ so damn much?"

"Maybe I care because the BAU is where you belong. Maybe I give a shit because you clearly have a passion for doing the work, for helping people. You fit in perfectly with the team. You're great at profiling," JJ defends softly. "Why give up something you've wanted to do when you finally have it?"

"Don't tell me where I belong," Emily snaps. "If I'm a perfect fit with the team, why do they all hate me?"

For the first time that night, JJ looks pissed, eyes darkening at the brunette's words. "Garcia loves you. And Morgan _doesn't_ hate you! He didn't trust you, not at first. He has a right to be cautious about the new people that join the team. Hotch is stubborn, it takes a lot for him to let people in. Reid—" she chokes up slightly, smoothing her hair back with both hands slowly.

Her tone is noticeably softer when she talks about the youngest member of the team. "Spence has it rough, but he likes you. He trusts you, and that's not easy for him to do. The fact he trusts you is a big deal for him."

Her jaw clenches slightly. "He had his father abandon him with his mother when he was young. And the only other man he looked to as a father figure goes off the map with nothing more than a letter with a piss poor explanation as to why he's being abandoned by someone he cares deeply about again. So, forgive me if I don't give a shit about what the likes of Jason Gideon thinks of a person and their character."

She throws her hands out in exasperation. "We've _dealt_ with Erin Strauss before, there's nothing new about that. She's been after Hotch ever since Gideon came back, looking for the right moment where he slips up. She'll gather the dirt on him herself if she really wants to."

"You don't understand!" Emily says exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air. "She promised me the position of unit chief if I did as she instructed!"

"And the fact you quit says what, Emily?"

"That I care!" she snaps, shooting back the whiskey like it's a shot. She fight back a wince as the alcohol burns down her throat. "That I care about Hotch and that I care about the team because I won't give her what she wants."

"You never had to," JJ points out. "It was an incentive for you to join the team, but it's not in writing, and it's not a fireable offense, especially if Hotch isn't at fault. Elle and Gideon are their own people. Their mistakes are on them."

"It reflects back on Hotch," Emily argues weakly.

"Has anything else happened since Elle and Gideon left?" JJ challenges.

Emily stays silent.

She doesn't have to reply to that. They both know nothing has. The BAU has been on their best behavior since Hotch had that meeting with Strauss a few weeks after Gideon departed. And, really, what authority did Erin Strauss hold over her, anyway?

JJ's right.

Erin's incentive was never in writing, was never really agreed upon verbally, so would it even hold up if she got fired? She could easily make it a court case, and she would probably win without trouble. No one wanted to mess with a Prentiss, after all. No one smart enough would, anyway. Erin Strauss was no threat to her at all.

"I think you're afraid."

Emily rubs both eyes with the heels of her palms firmly, laughing humorlessly. "Of what? Of Erin?"

JJ shakes her head, folding her arms back over her chest. "Commitment, maybe. You've moved around a lot, never stay in one place too long. And it's only been a week since you've quit and already you have your life all packed up and ready to go to the next location. Like you've given up and—"

She grabs a fistful of nearly raven black hair, bunching it until her scalp stings before releasing it. "You're not a profiler, so don't profile me. You have no right," she interrupts harshly.

JJ stops abruptly, biting down on her lip with a hard sigh. "I just... I thought you were better than this," she confesses.

"Yeah, well, like I said," Emily says flatly, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and refilling her glass. "You really don't know a thing about me."

JJ stares at her for a long time, waiting for more to come. When it doesn't, she shakes her head, looking disappointed. "Yeah, I guess I don't," she murmurs softly, turning on her heel and leaving Emily alone in her apartment.

"Bourbon Drunk Emily it is then," Emily murmurs glumly to herself, her stomach clenching in guilt as the slam from the front door reverberates throughout her apartment. She shoots back the whiskey quickly, making a face as it goes down. 

God, she really can't _stand_ Bourbon Drunk Emily.


	2. Chapter 2

She stuffs her hands in her pocket as she walks up towards the building in Quantico. Her car keys jingle next to her hand as she walks along. She grabs them firmly to stop them from making any noise. She stares up at the tall building once she gets to the front doors, suddenly feeling intimidated about going up there and facing the rest of the team.

"Emily?"

She smiles involuntarily at the voice— she can't help it. Garcia has that effect on everyone. "Penelope, hey!" she turns and greets the bright, bubbly woman softly.

"Oh my god!" Garcia gasps, stumbling forward and trapping the brunette in a hug. "JJ said she visited you, I just didn't know if we would ever see you again."

Emily smiles wryly as she pulls out of the hug, stuffing her hands back in her pocket with a shrug. "I had some things I had to think over and work out," she explains briefly. Luckily for her, Penelope accepted this as a suitable answer.

"Are you back?" Garcia asks excitedly. "Like, back back?"

Emily pulls out her ID from her back pocket, producing it with a twinge of pride in her stomach. "I talked it over with Strauss a few days ago. She was mad, but that was to be expected. But I convinced her that I'm sure that the BAU is where I belong," she confesses with a nod. "Or, I must have anyway, because I got these and my gun back yesterday."

Garcia throws an arm around her shoulders with a grin, giving them a squeeze. "Welcome back."

"It's great to be back," Emily murmurs genuinely. "Everyone else already in?" she guesses.

Garcia grimaces slightly, laying a palm reassuringly on her bicep. "Oh, you just missed them. They have a case in Miami."

Emily frowns, slightly disappointed. "Oh."

Garcia looks at her with a knowing smirk. "But..." she drawls out innocently as she leads Emily into the building. "I do have an extra file that a certain someone dropped off on my desk earlier and I can find you the quickest flight to the sunshine state in no time flat."

"Someone left you an extra file?" Emily asks, puzzled as Garcia drags her to the elevator, scanning her own ID and presses the button for the floor the BAU was on. It's only more confusing when it dawns on her just who did it. "How did JJ know I was coming back? Hotch doesn't even know yet."

Garcia grins over at the brunette. "She said that I might need it, and to call it intuition of sorts."

Emily scoffs with a smile, shaking her head in amazement. "That woman is something else."

"Funny, she says the same thing about you. Sounds about the same, too," Garcia quips lowly with a smirk.

"What?"

"Nothing," Garcia sing songs, leading Emily off the elevator once it stops and into her "lair". She immediately sits at her desk, quickly typing up information that appears on several monitors. "Can you live with one flight in coach?"

Emily grins at the teasing tone. "Hell, I don't care if you book me a flight in the luggage cabin. Whatever the hell gets me to Miami the fastest."

"I assume you already have your go bag?"

"Packed and ready to go in my car," Emily confirms.

"Your gun?"

"Still locked up tight at home," she admits. "But if I really need one, Hotch carries an extra. I'll manage"

Garcia smiles without looking away from her screens. "There's that Prentiss fire I've been missing," she says excitedly, tapping away on the keyboard quickly before hitting a final key with a dramatic flair. "Alright, you got a flight to and from Miami that leaves in an hour and a half. Should give you plenty of time to get through customs and all that jazz. And the weather is perfect. You'll be down there by noon."

Emily throws her arms around the young woman tightly, yet briefly. "Thanks, PG, you're the best!" she exclaims before she takes the file the technical analyst produces with a grin and takes off out the room.

"They don't call me the great all knowing oracle of Quantico for nothing!" She hears Garcia shout out after her, shaking her head with a grin.


	3. Chapter 3

JJ flips through the files of one of the victims on her lap, just barely picking up what Reid is telling everyone. She's not a profiler, but she does get some files, helps look through certain ones because it might help her with the media. Or she might find something that the others have missed on the flight down.

She's gotten a fair amount of control on the media at this point, though it never really lasts long. It's just enough time for her to help, though, if only briefly.

Morgan and Hotch flank her on either side, both looking through other files as Reid writes on the board. They've only been here a few hours, but at the rate the unsub is moving, they feel like they're grasping at straws trying to come up with more information.

"Need a fresh set of eyes?"

JJ glances back and grins at Emily standing there with a file in her hand. She knew the brunette would show up. She just _knew_ it.

"Anything helps," JJ says, gesturing for the older woman to sit down.

"You're back?" Reid asks hopefully when Emily takes a seat near him.

"Yeah, I'm back," she says softly.

"I thought... We thought you left," Reid says with a worried frown.

"I'm not going anywhere," Emily promises. "I'm here to stay."

"Where have you been?" Morgan asks her suspiciously.

"I had to work out some shit on my own," Emily answers truthfully, eyes softening as she looks over at the man. "I'm so sorry I just left without telling you."

"Hotch going to be in trouble with Strauss when we get back?"

"We don't have to worry about Erin. I took care of that," Emily says firmly.

Morgan smirks at this, shaking his head. "We'll _always_ have to worry about Strauss. That's a problem that even you can't fix, princess."

Emily visibly relaxes at the nickname, shaking her head with a grin. "You're right, who am I kidding?"

"Prentiss," Hotch says.

Emily sits up in her chair. "Sir?"

"You're back for good?"

"Yes, sir."

"You're positive this time?"

"Yes, sir."

"This isn't job isn't a game," Hotch reminds her. "And I don't give second chances so easily."

Emily swallows thickly and nods. "I understand, sir. I promise, I'm serious about this. I wouldn't have come back if I wasn't completely committed to this job."

He stares back at her, firmly nodding in approval. "Good."

"So, what made you come back to the BAU?" Morgan asks her. "The opportunity to tell Strauss off too good to pass up, or you just miss us that much?" he teases.

Emily chuckles, leaning back in her chair with a slight shake of her head. "Actually, someone gave me a push in the right direction," she replies, catching the slight smile on JJ's face in her peripheral.

Yeah, Jennifer Jareau was _something_ else, she thinks to herself with a smile of her own.

She turns back to Reid, clearing her throat. "I caught up on the case and the victims on the way down, is there anything new?"

Reid's eyes light up as he turns to the board. "Actually, we've found some connections between the three men—"

JJ stands up quietly, pushing her chair in. She needed to go and catch the lead detective up to speed with what the team found. Before she leaves, she gives Emily's shoulder a firm squeeze, a silent "welcome back" gesture.

Just as she exits the door to the room the local PD had given them, she swears she sees Emily shoot her a grateful smile.


End file.
